Control. We like to have it in every aspect of our lives, don’t we? I always thought being in control was a strength that made me a better woman, that I must be in control of my body, my safety, my income, my future. I invested everything into designing my life, my way and keeping it so. Then after it all fell apart a couple of times despite my best efforts, only to amaze me by ending up better than anything I could have imagined for myself, I realized that being ‘in control’ was just a bullshit illusion. Clearly I’m not in control of much, and that’s actually a really good thing! Mind you, that doesn’t mean my mind stops trying to be in control.
Allow. That’s my buzz word (or resolution) for 2015. My heart and mind are both strong, so whenever my heart says ‘allow’, my mind waits patiently until I’m not noticing so it can again try to regain ‘control’. Life has brought me several miracles in this state of allowing, affirming what’s possible with this option so that I return again and again to allowing. Staying conscious is interesting.
This journey to Peru is all about allowing. Flying standby/space-available there and back, turning ourselves over to the care of an amazing medicine man I love and respect and his array of powerful (tho not always fun) healing plants is a journey of allowing and surrender. Any discomfort with the plants, as with life, passes smoothly if we allow, but causes prolonged suffering and pain when we resist. Holding onto expectations that circumstances and experiences should be a certain way and not allowing the full range of what is to simply BE is, as the Buddhists say, the source of all suffering.
I catch myself trying to control parts of my experience before we even leave, under the guise of “preparing” or “planning”. My pack sits there and I consider adding all manner of distraction or comfort to its contents. Can I just go and be for 11 days? What do I really need besides apparel and basic toiletries?
In Vipassana, we had 10 full days of silent meditation with no interaction between participants, no journaling or electronic gadgets, no books or audio files or anything allowed. By day 3 I stood up during a ‘break’ (sitting alone somewhere on the grounds) ready to leave. In that moment I realized I had come for no one else but myself. Why would I abandon myself? If I couldn’t live with myself for 10 days, how could I ever ask anyone else to live with me? Tears flowed as I sat back down and fully surrendered to the emotions and fears I had been holding back. I committed to allowing myself the full experience and it was truly life-changing…just as I know this journey will be. Heck, I even get to journal during this one or hum/chant to myself, so what else do I need? I see my surrendering and allowing has already begun.
Today’s Ceremony Detox Menu: Egg with one boiled potato and a fresh tomato for breakfast. Apple snack. Water and herb tea all day. Salad for afternoon snack. Fish, steamed green beans, and cauliflower for dinner.
Tonight’s Unplugged Time: Nature walk. Pedicure to prep my feet for hiking. One more nice, long, hot shower while I can. Sleep.
Namaste and much love,
Sheryl Sitts, Founder, Journey of Possibilities
Spirit guided me to create this “Countdown to Sacred Plant Medicine Intensive” blog series to help demystify this sacred healing/awakening path while simplifying the dietary preparations by sharing practical ways I am preparing for the Amazon while working and living in a modern society. If something I share sparks your curiosity or interest, please COMMENT BELOW and let’s create a conversation here. I receive no compensation for sharing here but am drawn by my heart to create a safe space and portal of possibility for anyone seeking hope and help to know there are many natural solutions we have not fully explored. Only by searching within and carefully selecting holistic modalities that resonate for us and practitioners who hold their work and healing space sacred can we truly unlock our own amazing journey of possibilities! I am here for you if I can help in any way.
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