Last weekend a long period of brewing concerns quietly drove me to my knees. The last night of a weekend can make us physically ill when we are anticipating return to a company in distress (or for many, returning to work that is not one’s best life). Working in the nonprofit sector where work means making a difference for others, the concerns extend beyond myself. As the knots in my stomach grew just below my awareness, I found myself walking into my meditation room with confused tears rolling down my face and hitting my knees in prayer.
I talk with God daily. I even do so in formal prayer with some regularity. Not so long ago, I surrendered some of my concerns to God and that cleared the way for me to receive the beautiful vision for Journey and some incredible people to be attracted into my life.
This prayer was radically different. I hit my knees with the most physical, emotional, and spiritual surrender possible. My prayer was simple and given fully upward, “God, I cannot do any of this without you.” More tears fell as I continued, “God, I don’t even know what I’m trying to carry anymore, but it’s too heavy and I give it ALL to you. I can do nothing without You. PLEASE take this burden from me and let your Light shine. Use all of me for Your Will and DON’T LET ME GET IN YOUR WAY!!! Make me an instrument of Your Will to do and say and think and feel exactly as You Wish. Thank you that I know it is now Done.” (Tears are again welling up as I write this and again feel this powerful experience.)
The next morning, I overslept again, just as I’d done for weeks. I scrambled around for work, fishing toiletries back out of my well-intentioned idle gym bag to get ready, and racing off to work thinking, ‘Well, a lot of good that did!’
As I arrived to the news that my position had been eliminated and my services were no longer needed, I withdrew into my own thoughts and feelings for the duration of that final meeting. As I watched his lips move, I couldn’t help but marvel at how calm I was. Me! The single homeowner raised in the belief that there’s never enough money for anything. He kept talking but all I could hear was deafening Stillness. All I could feel was complete and total Peace. I curled up inside myself onto a soft bed of Knowing that all is Right…a bed made directly on the hand of God. My Father who feeds the birds so they can soar worry-free will also feed me.
Less than twelve hours after complete and total surrender, I had my Miracle. The Peace continues today, and the miracles are just beginning! My phone and email have not stopped bringing love, appreciation, and opportunity to me. My gym bag actually goes with me every single day now to…you guessed it! All I have to do is stay in complete surrender in the hand of God and let His Light shine brightly in everything I say and do. How ironic that we are to give it ALL UP to get it all and then some!
Founder and CIO (Chief Inspirational Officer), Journey of Possibilities