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Why Helping Someone You Love May Hurt Them More

stock-photo-money-108362429This past week it seemed I heard the same situation everywhere I went.  Friends are helping friends financially, while those in ‘need’ continue repeating their same money mistakes. Parents help their adult children buy things they can’t afford, putting it on their own credit cards and going into debt to do it.  What did they all have in common?  All cared very much and wanted to help.

I’m a very giving, loving person. I work and volunteer in social services and believe wholeheartedly in helping someone get ahead.  I just don’t believe that handing them money is the answer.  Experience has taught me what I’ve also seen with others; that does more harm than good.

Money is a great teacher!  I have learned some of my greatest lessons in self-love, gratitude, greed, what real abundance is, the law of attraction, faith, forgiveness, and patience as I experienced hard times.  I’ve hit my knees (as recently as last year, in fact) in prayer several times when I had too much month left at the end of my money!  I KNOW it’s scary.  It DOES hurt, and that is how we learn.   That is exactly when I had my deepest heart-to-heart talks with the God of my understanding…and had my strongest breakthroughs in personal growth.  And do you know what?  I’m a MUCH BETTER person for it.

I do get it.  It is hard to see someone we love struggling. However, if we keep giving them money whenever they are nearing their breakthrough moments and great lessons, we only prolong things and block their progress.  Sure, give them a sandwich or buy them a cup of coffee from time to time, but we never learn how to walk until someone lets go and we fall down a few times.  It is just that simple.

So what can you do?  A non-judgmental ear and your heart are their greatest gifts!  Love them through it. Gently help them see what they aren’t seeing and then just be there.  Knowing we are never alone and someone will be there to help us find our way back up when we fall down is the best thing we can have!  Be THAT person and you will give a gift far greater than any dollar figure.

Sheryl Sitts, Founder & Chief Inspirational Officer
Journey of Possibilities
Live with Peace, Purpose and Passion…Naturally!

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