“Dry it up, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

“Never let them see you sweat.”

As you can tell, I was always taught to put on a strong face and keep my true emotions quietly hidden inside.  This would help me to succeed in a male-dominated industry…and world.  An avid learner, I mastered being a “bad-ass bitch.”  Neither family bankruptcy nor incest nor drug addiction nor unemployment nor deaths nor divorce would get me down!  I got tougher and tougher until my skin was quite thick.  I never knew what it was costing me, until a few years ago when it got to be too much and the armor began to crack.

As I began my holistic, spiritual healing journey, I discovered that my indestructible warrior’s mask had become so much a part of me that I had no idea how to take it off anymore.  Beyond that, I was terrified to see all that I had buried behind it.  Then a new and dear friend introduced me to the work of Brene Brown. It took every bit of my “bad-ass bitch” strength to step into the abyss behind the mask and navigate my way back to the deeper parts of my well-guarded heart.  In perfect synchronicity, I was soon to travel to Peru for an 11-Day Ayahyuasca Intensive, the integration of which would unfold for years to follow.  After two more years and another trip to Peru working with Ayahasca, I can now see how the opening created in that journey was releasing layers of suppressed emotions around my heart.  In other words, I have been removing the layers of my mask..

Our society has long praised being strong enough to push through adversity, swallow our pain, and keep on keeping on.   What I now know through experience is how much more fulfilling and strengthening it is to actually open our hearts and live authentically, vulnerably, allowing the breadth and depth of emotions to move fully through us and on their way.  Stuffing them down only leads to later heartache…and ultimately to illness and disease.  Rejected, neglected, suppressed feelings become toxic.  I wasn’t the bad-ass bitch I thought I was; I was “warrioring through” life like a battlefield instead of savoring it like a buffet of rich emotions and experiences. However challenging it may be to make that shift, I can promise that the rewards far outweigh the growing frustration and numbness of living a life that isn’t vulnerable and authentic.   This is why I say now that living vulnerably and authentically is the true definition of being a bad-ass bitch!

Are you living your most authentic, vulnerable expression?  Would you like to experience a richer and more fulfilling life?  Are you ready to really be a bad-ass?  I’d love to help you create that for yourself, so please don’t hesitate to comment below and reach out if I can serve you.

Namaste and so much love,
Sheryl Sitts, MPA, BA, Coach, Speaker, & Holistic Practitioner
Founder, Journey of Possibilities ~ a holistic spiritual community featuring live events, weekly shows, and a quarterly digital magazine