“Failure is not an option.”

Wasn’t that line delivered well by Ed Harris in the movie Apollo 13?  No matter how many times we hear about the power of the mind and how thoughts become things, we still allow the possibility of failure into our thoughts.  How often do we say, “Well if this doesn’t work out, we need to have a backup plan,”  or, “I’ll try this and then see what happens”?

We do this in relationships.  When we are young, we love with all of our heart and don’t even consider what it might feel like if it all falls apart.  Then we go through a breakup and it’s as if we put part of our heart on a shelf and love only 90% the next time…just in case.  Then, if that ends in breakup, we show up with 80% or 70%, and so on.  Isn’t this why they say that after you’re divorced you are statistically more likely to divorce again?  It’s not that you’re damaged or less desirable, but that you begin with the possibility (maybe even the probability) that it will end.  Maybe it’s unconscious, but it’s there.  And as powerful creators of our realities, we create again and again.

We also do when learning new things.  Have you ever tried to go back and learn something you were told you didn’t do well as a child?  Having less confidence in our own ability to succeed, we start with the possibility of failure in mind.

Finally, we entrepreneurs do this in business.  Most businesses fail within the first year for many reasons, but I truly believe one deep underlying reason we don’t discuss enough is our fear/belief that failure is possible, or even likely. It’s as if we rather dabble in the idea of business, experiment, fall down, get up, and all the while fear our failure.  How many of us quit right on the brink of our biggest successes?

I saw my parents’ business partnership fail and our family experienced bankruptcy in my childhood.  Fights over money, lying to bill collectors who called, the shame growing with that stack of bills, and the palpable yet unspoken fear that we would not be OK.  I have been moving through healing those scars, layer by layer, since launching Journey of Possibilities in 2011, learning to trust.  I continue to discover deeper levels of fear and even expectations of failure that have been unconsciously running the show in my life.  As I heal these, life gets sweeter and sweeter.

Our first step then is to become conscious of the thoughts and beliefs that are unconsciously running our lives and sabotaging our success.  As we become aware, we can then heal the pain feeding those stories and write new ones for ourselves.  Changing our thoughts and beliefs results in immediate shifts in the “reality” we experience in all facets of our lives.

It is worth stating here that focusing on not failing is still rooted in failure.  This is instead about learning to focus all of our vision, energy, and faith on what we do WANT rather than what we do not want.  Forget about not wanting to fail!  Instead visualize in great detail exactly what success looks and feels like, and step into the fullest expression of that passion.  The more I hold that image, the more it unfolds into my reality!

Reprogramming ourselves to change our lives is the work I am passionate about.  If I can support you in this, please contact me!

Namaste and much love,

Sheryl Sitts, MPA, BA, Transformational Coach & Holistic Practitioner

Founder, Journey of Possibilities