Our natural state is blissful, openhearted confidence
that we are fabulous and worthy of love!
One of my favorite people was my late mentor and friend, Oscar Mink. When Oscar was in his 70s he often told me we should be more like his five year old grandson Ethan who, when complimented, would reply, with arms wide open and a big grin, “Yes I am!”
Oscar and I both struggled with accepting praise from others because we were very hard on ourselves, so we looked to little Ethan to open us up to the possibility that we might be okay, just as we were. After watching Ethan and other kids celebrate their awesomeness, I came to believe that our natural state is blissful, openhearted confidence that we are fabulous and worthy of love.
Unfortunately, many of us have learned to ignore our deep truth and instead look to others for approval. Over the years, people told us, through grades, negative feedback or just plain meanness, that we didn’t fit in, we weren’t good enough. And we believed them.
We might have lost touch with the joy of self-acceptance and sunk into the quicksand of self-judgment, where it’s hard to breathe and everything feels difficult. But, what if self-acceptance were a real possibility, today, right here and right now, no matter how long we’ve lived in the pain of self-judgment?
The truth is, when we think of ourselves as not being enough, we’re actually “thinking” through someone else’s ideas or words that have taken up residence in our minds. Our brains actually take care of us by believing whatever information we expose them to the most. Because of that, our brains aren’t the best resource for us when we want to know the truth about ourselves (I know, this sounds crazy, but it’s true).
It might feel true that you have to be perfect to be accepted, but just for this moment, consider these possibilities…
All of the thoughts you think about yourself or your situation in life that make you feel sad, lonely or unworthy are 100% false.
AND…
All of the thoughts you think about yourself or your situation in life that make you feel happy, relaxed or confident are 100% true.
Don’t believe me? Your mind might not agree, but let’s see what the rest of you has to say about it. Your body, heart and spirit know the truth and they are always communicating within you. You might not notice it because their “voices” are very quiet compared to thoughts.
Pause for a moment, read the statements again and notice what happens inside of you:
All of the thoughts you think about yourself or your situation in life that make you feel sad, lonely or unworthy are 100% false.
AND…
All of the thoughts you think about yourself or your situation in life that make you feel happy, relaxed or confident are 100% true.
Did your heart rate or breathing just change? Do you notice any tightness or ease in your muscles? Have your thoughts become faster or slower?
There’s nothing wrong with you if you feel exactly the same as you did when you started reading this article, but I invited you to pause because our bodies are always communicating with us and they can help us to know what is true.
When we think thoughts that hurt, our bodies respond with tight muscles, weariness and racing thoughts. In contrast, when we think thoughts that feel good, our bodies respond with deep breaths, sighing or yawning, release of emotional energy, and calmer thoughts.
Self-acceptance flows easily when we give attention to
the way our bodies, hearts and spirit/intuition respond to our thoughts
and then let go of thoughts that cause us pain.
If you want to permanently free yourself from the belief that you aren’t enough, do your best to pause when you feel tight, depleted or emotionally down and then try one of these simple exercises.
- For a quick, fun and really effective way to access your deep truth, watch this short video:
- Give your attention to the place in your body that feels tight or uncomfortable. Identify a place in your body that feels loose or comfortable, (I promise there is one, even if it’s just your big toe!). Slowly move your attention between those two places in your body, giving all of your attention to the simple exercise of focusing on the tight place in your body and then the loose one. After just a few minutes, the tight place will naturally relax and you’ll be able to enjoy some ease.
- Again, give your attention to the place in your body that feels tight or uncomfortable, and then simply imagine beautiful, golden, warm sunlight bathing that place in your body. Imagine the sunlight is the perfect temperature for you. I like to imagine that I’m lying in a sun beam in my home during the winter, because that’s really nurturing to me. You might want to imagine you’re on a beach or somewhere in nature – experiment to find the image that feels best to you.
Enjoy the sensations as your body responds to the imaginary sunlight. As you do this activity, your thoughts or emotions might change – that’s okay. If you can keep your focus on the sunlight and avoid trying to figure it out or process emotions, everything will shift naturally. The longer you can hold this meditation, the more your emotions will flow as they need to, thoughts will calm down, muscles will relax and you’ll find yourself refreshed. (This is great to do just before bed if your thoughts are racing and you want to get a good sleep.)
The more you play with these activities, the harder it will be for other people to convince you that you aren’t enough, and the more you will realize that You are fabulous and worthy of love!
If you’d like to take a deep dive into the ocean of happiness that’s available inside of yourself, take a look at my book, The Secret Life of Communication: Opening to Unlimited Love. Self-acceptance is a real possibility, and you can open up to it at any time, in any place. Enjoy the journey!
Annie B. Wilson, PhD, helps people to know they are valuable and powerful. She is the award-winning author of The Secret Life of Communication: Opening to Unlimited Love, a life/business coach and popular speaker. Visit Annie online:
https://www.anniebwilson.com,
https://www.facebook.com/DrAnnieB?ref=hl