Last night I was blessed to spend time with my spiritual healer to go back and piece together the broken little girl somewhere in my past and bring her wholly forward into the present. In the multitude of lessons that followed, I got really clear about how we protect ourselves from pain by not talking about the truths of our lives that others have taught us were ‘ugly’. In not talking about our pain and in always trying to make everything look good, like we’ve got it all figured out, we don’t heal or grow.
In going back to find my little girl, I discovered that I had been sexually abused once while very young, long before the other incest I’ve been counseled about for years, by another family member I’d never considered. (No wonder I’ve been stuck on some deep core issues!) It happened in his favorite chair, which I have since inherited. That truth so wanted to be uncovered all of these years that I’ve unconsciously drug that chair from home to home without ever considering why. I never sit in it. I always try to decorate it in a magazine-ready photo setting and then ignore it. Now that the ugly truth about this cross I’ve carried with me is in the light, I can honestly say I HATE that chair! I cannot WAIT to take it to the resale shop and get RID of it! (Even my beautiful cat pictured here on “the chair” doesn’t seem to feel too good about the energy there!)
There were many more lessons in that journey about my own mother, generations of pain, lies, and secrets, and how their broken, pain-filled truths have transferred unconsciously into my world-view. No one in my family has felt ‘good enough’ for many, many years. I am excited about the new possibilities that arise for me out of illuminating that very dark, musty hallway. Today, I know I’m good enough just because I Am.
My prayer for you is that you will discover a cross you may be carrying, however unconsciously. Pray for the strength and opening to shine a bit of light there. What awaits beyond the pain we so dread, which by the way isn’t half as strong as the pain of hiding, will be Possibilities beyond your wildest imaginations. Take the Journey of Possibilities my friend, and find your new beginnings!
Sheryl Sitts, Founder & Chief Inspirational Officer