My breasts are a nice size, not too big and not too small. I bathe them daily, do regular self-exams, wear attractive bras to support them when I’m out and go bra-less at home. I never gave birth and have not needed them to nurse a baby. They are sensitive and wonderful to stimulate during sex. That’s about all the thought I have given them throughout most of my life.
Early detection of breast cancer saved my best friend’s life a few years ago for which I am very grateful! During one of our later conversations, I learned the cancer-causing dangers of antiperspirants and the aluminum-based compounds in deodorants which are also linked to Alzheimer’s. I decided to quit using commercial products and began a detox process to purge them from my system. Since then I have used various recipes online to make my own and sometimes use crystal mineral sticks*. You may wish to do your own research and try DIY deodorant recipes as different products are effective on different bodies.
I have also come to understand that hating my body and learning how to disconnect from the my body are actually common survival skills among women. We try to measure up to unrealistic, disproportionate body images we see in dolls, movies, magazines and other media. As we develop, we become sexually active (some of us through abuse before choice) as others satisfy themselves with our bodies in ways that range from pleasurable to violently victimizing. At best, we are left confused. At worst, we shut down.
I have done a lot of deep healing work over the past decade to emotionally and mentally overcome childhood sexual trauma and rediscover peace and joy. Learning to love myself is, I now understand, essential to my own health and well-being and to having happy, healthy relationships with others. I am now physically healing cellular memories of fear, self-loathing and pain that reside throughout my body. This is a journey of patience, compassion, and love.
Breast massages are my latest discovery bringing lot of healing and reawakening to my body. Giving myself a loving massage with warm coconut oil* and holding the intention of releasing all that no longer serves me is no less than transformational. I consciously release having my breasts oogled at, groped, grabbed, pinched, bitten, poured hot wax over and more. I release pinching and pressing my own breasts into uncomfortable bras to boost them up to hungry eyes for approval. I release objectifying them as toys for men. I release using them to enhance my own sense of sexiness and self-worth. I also release the shame that all forms of self-touch have for me after years of societal and religious programming. Here is the style of breast massage you may wish to try and adapt for yourself.
Yesterday I went to Cacique Intimates to be professionally measured and fitted for a bra for the first time in my life. No more guessing. No more thinking it’s close enough. I was surprised to learn I have been wearing two cup sizes too small (ouch!) which I was quickly told is common. As I put on a bra that perfectly fit me and contained a thin layer of memory foam rather than wires for support, my heart sang! I eagerly, gratefully purchased my new treasure which now has a place of honor in my lingerie drawer between wearings.
With each release of old energy and new act of self-love, I feel bright light rush in to fill the dark places where shame, guilt, and betrayal have been stuck in my body. I see how all of that dark, stuck energy could have easily turned cancerous if not released…and right over my heart! My body vibrates at a higher frequency as I replace fear, self-abandonment, and self-hatred with my own love and Divine love. I feel my stagnant sexual energies moving! I am resurrecting my body as my temple. Talk about “spring cleaning”!
This Mother’s Day, I have been celebrating learning to become my own best mother and daughter. Just think, an entire womb of wisdom still awaits me. That will have to wait for another day and another blog…series…book. For now, I’m taking my sweet time loving myself well at my own pace and it feels soooooooo good! If I can help you embark on this most fulfilling journey, don’t hesitate to reach out. You totally deserve it.
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