Oops! I have gotten so caught up healing, growing, and learning since 2012 that I forgot to actually slow down and integrate all that into my life. 2014 gave me that opportunity and it feels really good.
I spent over 40 years conditioning to believe that a good job, my own home, a significant other, nice possessions, retirement and savings account were my security and social destiny in life. When those illusions fell apart, I dug deeper and slowly discovered new Truths for my life.
- My soul is my true self and security, the Divinely-fueled Source that I Am.
- A job is merely an outlet for my talents. I can freely express and grow these independently and I’m not likely to ever lay myself off from that calling. I truly love helping others do this, too!
- Entrepreneurship and monetizing my gifts takes me straight through my deepest crap about whether I’m smart enough, good enough, ready enough, etc. What a ride, and yet so healing. The surprising and beautiful answer I continue to find is yes I am, yes I am, and yes I am!
- Home is my body, the real temple of my soul. That is the first and most long-neglected priority I have. Every other structure is simply a shelter for my body in this moment, for which attachment creates misery and gratitude is my best response.
Healing my long-held misconceptions about work, home, and money have been powerful and continue to deepen as I evolve through the spiral. Every time I feel I’m going back to a worn out lesson, I find I’m merely experiencing it at a deeper level to heal until it finally triggers no reaction at all and I’m done with it. What a sense of freedom that is!
I keep learning how to listen and observe messages I get every day in our highly interactive environment. From wildlife and nature (animal medicine, astrology) to how my body manifests conscious and unconscious thoughts and emotions to the symbolism of my dreams to the types of people and lessons I attract, every day is full of insights. It’s fun! What an incredibly dynamic Universe we live in, ready to teach and show us anything we want to know. I do love a good adventure.
2014 has brought me into the happiest, most peaceful place I’ve ever experienced. For every relationship in my life that has helped to lead me to this place, I am very grateful! I treasure my health, my community of friends, my house in nature, my spiritual place of worship, my business and special clients and referral partners, and many, many more blessings. I pause to breathe in gratitude.
I begin 2015 with 8 weeks of physical, mental, and spiritual preparation to return to the Peruvian Amazon with my love and a handful of my closest friends. There we will connect with a very gifted and dear medicine man in ceremony with music and sacred plants to facilitate profound healing and insights. (Yes, I’ll share when I return.) I go with a fairly specific intention. You see, like entrepreneurship has been an insightful platform in my life, so has building an intimate loving relationship with my best friend, a most gentle, loving, patient, centered spiritual awakening man. I find all sorts of deep insecurities, fears, and pain surfacing as my earliest experiences of intimate touch, kissing, hugging, and sexuality began at the age of 5 by the very men in my family I trusted to keep me safe. Since childhood, I’ve used and abused men and sex throughout my life either by dominating them to avoid feeling vulnerable, medicating myself with cigarettes, booze, drugs, sugar, etc. so I didn’t have to feel at all, or avoiding sex completely. None of those work for me anymore. Similarly I meet awakening women struggling too with romantic intimacy, vulnerability, and self-love as we work to create healthy relationships with awakening men. Even for those without a history of rape or incest, women have spent over a century being subservient, objectified, and raised in dysfunctional patriarchal families and communities. It’s left us feeling powerless, frustrated, angry, and/or confused. I share my healing journey to inspire anyone else who feels similarly. We all deserve to heal, expand and thrive fully!
THANK YOU for sharing this Journey of Possibilities with me. I wish you a year filled with authenticity, real joy, meaningful expression, deep consciousness and gratitude, and a continued journey of becoming more of all that is possible for you.
Namaste and much love,