A Mother’s Love

Whether you have ever parented a child or not, you are a Mom.  There comes a time in every woman’s life when she discovers that she is the ultimate mother of her own body and soul.  It is during this beautiful discovery that she can shift from placing everyone else’s needs above her own to fully understand why that emergency oxygen mask must cover her own mouth first.  It’s true when they say we can’t give what we don’t have,  and the more we humbly and faithfully we love ourselves first, the more love we have to give the world.

I was given up at birth for adoption by a woman who carried me to term so gently and lovingly that I was born with no deficiencies, addictions, or disabilities.  How does a woman carry a baby like that for nine months and then give him/her away at birth?  That is a mother’s love.

Later I discovered my records had been misplaced or shuffled in with others at the agency, and now I have no way to discover the identity of my real mother to even thank her for that ultimate sacrifice and let her know things turned out well.  Meanwhile, I was raised by loving parents who adopted me immediately.  A woman unable to have children of her gave me all she knew and all her love until her death when I was 30.  That is a mother’s love.

Helping my husband to provide for his stepchildren and assist in raising them to the best of my ability taught me much about the other side of the experience.  While they already had a mother, I gave them the only kind of love I knew in whatever capacity they would allow me.   I may never know what if any impact I had on their lives, but I do believe I made some difference, good and bad, intentional and unintentional.  That is a mother’s love.

With my adopted mother gone and my stepchildren grown, I’m now a single 47 year old woman redesigning the next season in my life.  I look in the mirror and see the results of how I have parented my own self up to now.  I am met with a mixture of satisfaction and desire to improve, and a sense of peace in the love I have developed for myself of late.  Healing old wounds and forgiving (mostly myself) have really improved my self-esteem.  One day at a time I continue to encourage myself but in a gentler way than my warrior-take-charge attitude of the past.  That too is a mother’s love.

Happy Mother’s Day and remember to give that mother’s love to yourself first.

Namaste,

Sheryl Sitts, Chief Inspirational Officer

Journey of Possibilities

The Truth About Success and Failure

Do you ever find you’re getting sucked into seeing yourself as society views you?  A lean body is success; excess weight is failure.  Money in the bank marks success; low funds denote failure. Being involved with someone romantically is success, while being alone indicates failure.  There’s no end to these examples, and even if we usually disagree with them, we may give them a little too much consideration during moments of weakness or insecurity.  Once that begins, it’s a slippery slope downward until we struggle to even find hope in our gloom…even though all that’s really changed is our perception.

Since launching Journey of Possibilities, I’ve experienced setbacks, dry spells, times I felt more like I was moving in reverse than going forward, and even times others may have viewed as complete failures.  I suppose my recent decision to cancel Illumination Houston 2013 may be seen that way by some.   This roller coaster ride prompts me to blog about what I’ve been learning:

• Success and failure are relative, and our social measures for that change every few decades.  In truth, I’m highly successful in emotional and spiritual growth, happiness, and clarity.  I’m more focused and know myself better than ever.   My relationships are richer, and my experiences more fulfilling than I’d dreamed possible.  Materialism has never given me the joy I’ve had this past year, although my increasing financial success will now be enjoyed with a new level of gratitude.
• There is no shortage of people ready to criticize, discourage, redirect, and (mis)guide you.  Ignore them; these are not successful people.  Successful, happy people help others achieve the same.  They do not belittle others to feel better about themselves.  Insecure people do that.
• Contrary to popular media, many good people exist.  I’ve been supported and encouraged by complete strangers with such heart and spirit I feel honored to meet them.  Rest assured this world is in many good hands, whether you hear about them on the news or not.
• Every up and down strengthens us and shows us what is and isn’t important.  We learn gradually to ‘let go and let God’, and gain much clarity around what we do and don’t have control over.  We learn to work better with others and trust.  Aren’t these beautiful lessons learned through ‘failure’?
• Meditation and prayer are survival tools.  When the judgments of the world begins to eat away at our confidence and strength, finding cracks in our armor and chipping away at us, meditation and prayer center and ground us again while showing us how meaningless people’s opinions and judgments really are.  Following our Divine Path never misleads us, yet an earthly perspective suggests otherwise.   Beware heeding that and changing course; the prize is likely around the next corner.
• When we’re willing to let go of the big thing we have our eye on and trust God, we are then shown what a really big prize looks like! This does NOT happen until we have heard the call and taken our leap of faith.

Illumination Houston 2013 may be cancelled…for now…but Journey of Possibilities is becoming more successful every day.   We are excited about our new projects and can’t wait to share all of this with you.  Thanks for joining us on this Journey!

Namaste and much love,

Sheryl Sitts

Are You Telling Your Dreams, “Maybe Tomorrow”?

Last night, I pondered what major part of my life I would need to bring in line to better fulfill my life purpose (from Ask and You Will Succeed, a great read by Ken D. Young).   As I held a clear image of myself living the professional and personal life I envision and saw the gap between the now-me and the then-me more clearly, I caught myself writing, “I will…and I would,”  and then I GOT IT!  Every aspect about which I keep saying I “will” instead of I “am” is keeping my dream in the future rather than today, only to wonder why it wasn’t materializing.

Our human mind is so complex we can actually be moving forward and holding ourselves back at the same time and not even realize it.  We really want to be lean but then we believe we dislike exercise and healthy foods, so we yo-yo for years.  We really want a happily-ever-after intimate relationship yet we stopped believing they’re even possible, so now we don’t fully give ourselves to a relationship anymore.  We want a successful business and yet push money away by believing people can’t afford us, don’t have any, or it will somehow corrupt us to have more money.  We are in essence creating a wonderful nature party in our dreams only to have our guests arrive to a TRAIL CLOSED sign while we wait inside wondering why they haven’t arrived.

As we visualize our dream and identify gaps between who we are today and who we must be for our dreams to come true, let’s begin with the aspects we recognize we’ve been telling ourselves we WILL do in the future.  We know if we want a different result, we must take a different action.  Why not move those to the top of the list and find ways to slowly begin those transformations?  Only then will we finally stop telling our dreams to come back tomorrow, and begin readying ourselves for that life today.

Namaste,

Sheryl Sitts, Chief Inspirational Officer

Journey of Possibilities

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Habits: Free Will in Bondage

Lately I’ve been discovering how I unconsciously push some people away when they get ‘too close’.  It’s actually much more complex than it sounds.  When some people get ‘too close’, my mind starts playing tricks with me about what they really want from me, how they’ll probably go away soon anyway, etc. until suddenly I’m withdrawing from a perfectly good friendship, romance, etc. for no reason at all!   It’s scary to me that I can do all of this now without even realizing what I’m doing.   What began in childhood (doesn’t everything?) to keep me safe then became an option in a couple of unhappy relationships and then a habit until now I’m not even aware that I do it.  Something that was once free will has over time become something that quietly runs in the background sabotaging my relationships.

This is only one example.  Whether it’s how we drive, what we eat, vices we try, the way we are with money, how we resolve conflict, or many other things, the same holds true.  There is an initial moment of consciousness when we freely choose.  If  it’s important enough, we’ll even get nervous about the possibilities and weigh out our options before we choose.  If our choice serves us well then, the next time we may more quickly return to the same choice.  After a few times, or when we’re too busy to spend time thinking about it, we may repeat the choice again after barely slowing down to weigh the options.  Before we know it, we’re still behaving that way 5…10…30 years later!  The situation has changed, the people are different, and WE’RE different, but we’re still doing that same old thing with no idea why or even that we are!  How much of our lives are run on autopilot?  And what does it take to get our attention?  Bankruptcy?  A heart attack?  Divorce?  Something else?

Free will can only exist in this moment.  The past is history and we may not even see the future.  All we have is this very moment.  All our multitasking keeps us too distracted to be in this right-now moment that is our Divine gift.   We stay in autopilot.   We are the only ones who can make the conscious choice to live in this moment EVERY moment.  Anything else is robbing ourselves of a precious human birthright: FREE WILL!   Here’s to conscious living – right here, right now.

Namaste and much love,

Sheryl Sitts, Chief Inspirational Officer

Journey of Possibilities

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The Path to Health Begins & Ends With Self Love

Last night I came to a powerful understanding I’d like to share.  I saw our bodies as masses of energy, and then went into what happens to all energy (human, plant, animal) that doesn’t receive love. From there, I shifted to my own body and the parts of my body that I only attend to for cosmetic reasons or because I’m “supposed to” so I don’t get sick or whatever, rather than from a place of love. Those parts of my body that I do not love or where I store unresolved emotions actually slow to low-vibrating energy, which is where we get diseases (dis-eases) like cancer.  Doctors may cut out tumors and medicate us, but they don’t treat the root causes for us rejecting our bodies or holding in repressed anger, sorrow, etc.

Then I saw a healthy body being given nourishing foods and lots of clean water from the Earth Mother, regularly being active to keep all energy throughout the body moving and flowing, and being properly nurtured and cared for. This body is loved, and honored each morning in meditation to realign body, mind, heart, and spirit. This is not a quick-fix or beauty-in-a-bottle-or-quick-weight-loss body, craving to be good enough and driven by fear.  Rather, this is a body that is wholly loved and appreciated for the incredible gift and work of art that it is…an extension of our own Divine energy manifested to allow us to express in human form our soul’s purpose.

Our bodies are truly miracles. Let’s do our part to learn to love ourselves in gratitude.  We’re not only good enough, we’re downright amazing!

Namaste,
Sheryl Sitts, Chief Inspirational Officer
Journey of Possibilities

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When is Doing the ‘Right Thing’ Wrong

“Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion.” ~ Democritus, Greek Philosopher

Don Miguel Ruiz writes in The Four Agreements about how we are “domesticated” by our parents, schools, and society into a story about how things were, are, and will be. We’re rewarded for complying and punished for rebelling until we are finally fully domesticated, or locked away in either a prison or an insane asylum.   How depressing to finish 18 years of school and realize I’d been a great drone programmed to succeed in the current story.  After living the corporate story, the marriage story, the community leadership story, and ending up unfulfilled, I knew I’d lived everyone’s story but my own!

When we live outside what Democritus calls opinions, we can create our own reality.  While many talk of living in faith, how much do we honestly trust our hearts and Divine Guidance, and fully surrender to find our own unique Path?  We have all these stories about how we can’t just expect money to show up without working really hard for it, the right people aren’t simply going to show up in our lives, etc.  Ironically, those things are completely possible when we live in faith and trust our spirit to guide us in the right way.  Letting go and surrendering is the challenging part!  It’s so much easier to believe the 401K, ‘secure’ job, married-with-kids, socially popular, and materially successful life we’re programmed to seek will make us happy.  If so, great!  If not, time to change it!

These stories are chains that bind us into lives that are not our purpose.  We are here today to write our own story, and the only one who can author our happiness and best path is US.  We must trust and have the courage to follow our inner compass to our own happiness, for if we live others’ stories for us, we actually prevent ourselves from getting there.  I for one am happier than ever not having any idea what tomorrow brings, for even though I have my scary and insecure moments, the joy is off the charts!

Namaste,

Sheryl Sitts, Chief Inspirational Officer

Journey of Possibilities

Photo credits:
Horse/Rider – korosy istvan
Dark Figure – Maria Li
Castle – susanne wunderlich
Sky – Julia Starr
Sky – Dimitri Castrique
All other effects – CG Textures

How Speaking Up for Yourself Transforms Your Relationships

How do people react when you stand up for yourself or ask for what you want/need?  I’ve been working on this a lot these past few months, and even more since my meditation retreat (see my video Why Meditation Causes Natural Healing).  I’ve come to realize how much I freeze up when it comes to asking for what I want or need, and yet how eagerly I help everyone else do so.  In fact, I have a new agreement with myself that  I can only help others fulfill their needs and desires when I am fulfilling my own.  I can only help others love themselves more when I am loving myself.  It’s like the old adage that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, only with a positive, self-love spin.  If I don’t honor and respect myself, how can I honor and respect anyone else?

Speaking up for ourselves is so important, but that doesn’t make it easy.  In fact, the only thing harder than speaking up for ourselves is not speaking up!  When we do not speak up for ourselves, often it’s because we feel the relationship is more important than our issue.  How silly!  If we don’t speak up, what happens?  Resentment builds, frustration builds, and then one day when we finally do speak up, we are fed up and really do damage the relationship.  Isn’t it better to speak up right away in a calm, loving way?  Our truth is our truth, and it isn’t likely to change.  Anything based on less than our truth is merely an illusion, not a deep, loving, mutual relationship.

So then, how do speak our truth and do the least damage possible if we know they may not like what we’re going to say?   Saying things as gently yet firmly as possible, coming from a place of love is a great start.  It often helps to consider how it would feel if the person were going to say the same thing to us.  How would we want to hear it?  Saying things like “I feel…I need…I want…I love…” are indisputable truths about you, rather than critical statements about the other person that usually begin with,  “You always…you never…why don’t you…”.   This compassion helps as much as anything can, as does understanding that it’s not personal!  No matter how much it may feel personal, their response is about them and where they’re at in life and growth.  (See  The Four Agreements for more on this).

Once we’ve had our difficult conversation, silence often follows.  I’ve recently been reminded of how that silence can grow into misunderstanding.  I understood it as withdrawal from my life, and it was actually an attempt to give me the quiet and space the other person thought I wanted.  Lesson?  Gently break the silence and observe what follows objectively.  We may be quite surprised at what follows, but we won’t know if we don’t take a risk and go there.  We both felt silly for our misunderstanding and peace is now restored.

The final piece is usually the hardest….patience!  We have no control over how another person feels after we speak our truth.  They deserve the same time to process what has been said and feel their way through it that we had in developing our approach and timing initially.  They may want/need hours, days, or even weeks.  Eventually, one of two things will happen.  Either they will get past their hurt, resolve any anger, feel your love and return to an even stronger relationship based on reality and truth, or they won’t.  The deepest and most genuine relationships heal stronger than they were; less authentic relationships not intended for our path any longer show themselves as longer true for us and move out of our lives.

Often as we grow deeper in self-love and rediscover/use our voices, those in our lives who are used to (often unconsciously) molding us to their will become uncomfortable with these changes. They need time to get used to the shift and then ultimately decide if they wish to share a more mutually respectful love with us or move on to someone more easily manipulated to their desires.  This is painful to recognize, I won’t lie, but these are the changes we must allow to unfold, standing in the comfort of endless Divine Love and our own self-love to comfort us through the transition.  Thankfully, beautiful new relationships also appear in our lives that reinforce the amazing feeling of giving and receiving healthy, respectful love.   When we allow this new joy as well as any pain that may surface to unfold, we transform our relationships within and without, finally embracing authentic connection and joy.  This is a gift we can only give to ourselves; if not now, when?

Have you had an experience like this?  Maybe you’ve tried this but met with challenges?  Please share your comments, experiences, and ideas with us as we Journey together in this amazing experience of life.  Sending you Divine Love and Light!

Namaste,

Sheryl Sitts

Journey of Possibilities Founder & Chief Inspirational Officer

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Why Don’t I Fit In?

Is it just me, or have you felt like you can’t quite find your place in this world?  Maybe you struggle between what you have to do to make a living or sustain yourself and what you love to do and do instinctively well.   Maybe you relate much better to the music, styles, interests, and culture of another time or place?  The more I talk about this with others, the more I realize I am definitely not alone in this challenge.  Sadly, most of those who relate to me on this have also shared my struggle with self-esteem since we discovered early in life we didn’t fit in.

For me, this journey has led me to explore and deeply resonate with teachings and beliefs about reincarnation.  Many faith-based organizations and churches either don’t discuss this or they denounce it.  So for me, I didn’t begin to actually have feelings and memories that validated my reincarnation until I allowed myself to consider the possibility.  I was raised in churches that denounced it, but in adulthood I gave myself permission to openly reconsider possibilities.  Now, I have been shown several past lives, and even find that some of my closest friends and relatives  in this lifetime have been with me for a very, very long time as our souls reincarnate into different roles and experiences throughout time.  (A good book on this is Little Soul in the Sun by Neale Donald Walsh.)

When I began asking to be shown more about this, answers would come in dreams, meditations, and new found spiritual guides and teachers.  One thing I now know is that I lived in South America as a Native American Indian, and I discovered more of this during my recent trip to the Amazon in Peru.  I also know that I played drums then, and have discovered that I’m not too bad at it now, either!  Another friend instinctively knows a lot about a country she’s never visited or read about, and when she researches, she’s right.  The difference is that she is vividly describing it historically in another time.

Some healers spend their childhood discovering they are born with gifts they now fear to reveal because they don’t want to be labeled as crazy or feared as we have historically done in the past with witches and the like.  In adulthood, they become trained and certified in their natural, innate gifts to lend credibility to themselves, even though they were born knowing what to do.  Sadly, most were loners in childhood, as are many ‘old souls’ who can’t relate to others who have not been here a multitude of times before and don’t instinctively know all that they do.

My compulsion in writing this was to start a conversation about how normal it is to be different….in fact, everyone is.  Our truest beauty is in our uniqueness, and we are the only ones who can reject mainstream stereotyping and programming to decide that we are most beautiful when we let our own diverse and beautiful uniqueness shine.

Mainstream adult America has been programmed to have a certain level of education, job, house, marriage, family, bank balance, status, appearance, etc.  We can’t wait for the media and business to change the model we strive to emulate; we must change it.  When enough of us decide that being unique and authentic IS fitting in, the model will change.

I see how not honoring all of myself led me to gain weight, be unhappy and unhealthy, fear rejection, withdraw, and more.  I am in the process of changing that and allowing myself to fully be me, and do you know what?  I’m attracting others like me – the real me – and having the time of my life!  We attract what we put forth, so conformists attract conformists, and authenticity attracts authenticity.

Enough about me…the purpose of this was to start a conversation, so how do YOU feel about all of this?  Can you relate to feeling like you don’t fit in?  If so, how could you start to express more of your true self without fearing isolation?  If you have worked through this yourself, how do you allow yourself to be fully expressed in a culture that encourages cookie-cutter living?  Please comment below so we can end this isolation and loneliness to come together in our individuality!

With Love,

Sheryl

The Price for Judgment is Love and Joy

My Mom was definitely an expert at judging everyone and everything from angles most people would never even dream of, so I consider myself well trained.  In fact, at 46 I can still hear her voice (in my mind as she passed away 18 years ago) judging many of my actions.  An interesting thing has happened over time, though.  Her voice has turned into my own, self-judging everything until at times I simply stop all action because I don’t know what to do next.  Lately I have been hyper-conscious of the little judge inside me, what she does to my relationships when I am critical (“helpful”) toward others, and how to distinguish the difference internally between the voice of self-judgment (“reason”), and the voice of spiritual Divine guidance.

To start, I am shocked at how much of what we think and say is a judgment.  Our mind has nothing else to do, so this goes on 24/7!  This is good.  That is bad.  This is stupid.  That is ugly.  Oh how beautiful!  Isn’t so-and-so ridiculous/brilliant/lazy…why don’t you do this faster/slower/softer/louder…it never ends!   It isn’t so harmful running a-muck in the mind, but then we are gracious enough to impose these judgments on those we to us.  You should…you ought to…have you tried…why don’t you…???  Oh, but it doesn’t stop yet.  Next, we get insulted, offended, or puzzled when they don’t take our well-intended advice, as if we are inside of them and know exactly when they should do what for their Highest good.  My favorite action that I have observed is to then repeat myself as if they must not have heard me the first time(s).  What is that all about?  We humans are really funny critters.

What about what we do inside ourselves to ourselves?  How harshly we criticize ourselves because we don’t think we’re up to par.  I’m not sure what gauge we are using, but often it is perfection itself, and it becomes obvious why we never measure up.  (Possibly we again had some helpful family members in childhood measuring our progress against perfection and letting us know how we were doing…like teachers with grades, parents with unrealistic goals, etc.)  Then we run around feeling unworthy or inadequate.  There is that insecurity and absence of self-love in every aspect where we harshly judge ourselves.

Next, along come a few well-intentioned friends and loved ones to tell us what they would love to see us do differently/better/faster/slower…and if we think they know better than we do what is best for us, we may even try their advice.  However, at some point we are designed to live our lives according to our internal compasses and to fully have the experiences we chose in coming here.  How can they know what those are or how we could best manage our life?  Simply, they can’t.  Their opinion is just that, an opinion!

We must turn inward on a regular basis through meditation, prayer, journaling, etc. to bring to light the internal judge and to clear the way for Spirit to guide our thoughts and actions in ways of service for our Highest good.  Spirit is the only Source we can respectfully surrender to and find the guidance we so desperately want and need in this world.  Our well-meaning loved ones really can’t know what is best for us, just as we have absolutely no idea what another person is here to experience or their best course of action.

In Buddhism, they talk a lot about being the observer of ourselves.  That is a great way to detach from our overly stimulated minds and allow the thoughts to come as they do without reacting unconsciously to them.  The mind is a busy organ, and a great resource, but it is not the best navigator to happiness, for it is unable to feel happiness.  It is the ego keeping us safe by judging everything around us and remaining on guard for possible danger, threats, opportunities, etc.  Watch with amusement and gratitude at how well it operates, and then turn within to heart and Higher Mind for the answers Spirit knows are best for our unique individual Path.

Namaste,

Sheryl Sitts, Founder & Chief Inspirational Officer

Journey of Possibilities

Ants, Pine Trees…What Good Are They?

Pine trees grow in groves and forests rather than being sparsely scattered across the landscape.  They drop a lot of needles and quickly grow tall enough to hog the sunlight, leaving only their trunks at our eye level and crowding out slower-growing hardwood trees that struggle for light and space.  Since the hardwoods are typically fuller and more popular, many people chop down pine trees to make space for other preferable trees.  I love all life too much to do that and have mostly pine trees around my home.  And then there are the ants…

Ants have taken over my lawn!  No matter how much I try to rid myself of these stinging pests, I am apparently outnumbered.  Fire ants bite me each time I mow the grass.  Tiny ants continue to find a way into my kitchen and bathroom.  Many people would have declared chemical warfare by now, but I don’t like to distribute poison and most natural remedies have as yet been ineffective.

Yesterday I was considering these generally unwanted ‘pests’ of the insect and plant kingdom and found it interesting that we humans deem ourselves worthy judges to remove all that we feel doesn’t belong.  We do it with ants and pine trees and people.  We do it with old architecture and natural wonders and pretty much everything else.  This us-and-them mentality of competition and judgment is rampant.  Why does the human ego need to be judge and jury? Could we learn anything important from our unwanted nuisances?

Pine trees are amazing to observe.   Despite a relatively shallow root structure, they can live for many, many years through adverse conditions.  Watching them whip about with their long trunks to survive hurricane season after active hurricane season, I see how flexibility and endurance help us win in the game of life.  I watch hardwood trees fill in around them to happily coexist with their lanky friends.  Pine needles protect the ground during seasons when it should be covered.  Who am I to come in and remove the natural order of things to replant what I deem desirable?  Isn’t that behavior rather odd when we look at it?

Ants are experts on community living.  They work tirelessly together and operate as a collective in everything.  In the Amazon, I observed a freeway of female carpenter ants (see photo) carrying leaves tirelessly for about a mile to the colony in their nest.  Our guide informed us that the females work 24 hours a day doing that!  Ants provide a service in the greater ecological synergy of life.  Who am I to poison any because I want them gone?  Why would I do that?

Some of the most amazing people I have ever met are outcast by mainstream society.  Their beauty standing in their own unique personality, gifts, potential, and self-expression are the finest anywhere.  No society can manufacture anything more perfect.  Maybe the reason we humans struggle to obtain an abundance of artificial comfort and beauty is that it isn’t honoring to who we are anyway.

An important aspect of learning to love ourselves is learning to love all that is…as it is!  The more I accept life and see the beauty therein, the more beauty and possibility I see within myself.  May nature teach us well in this journey of possibilities we call life!

Namaste,

Sheryl Sitts

Journey of Possibilities