Finally, a nice afternoon! Amazingly I actually wanted to go outside and cut my grass, something I often complain about not enjoying. I set out in a good mood, started the mower, and then it began…
With little else to do but acknowledge thoughts and feelings that arise, I recalled my friend’s recent comment. “What is it about you and cutting the grass? There’s something more to that.”
As I considered that question I recognized how my father or my husband (now ex) had always cut the grass until now. Even when I did it, I was playfully seeking a change of pace from housework and offered. Needing to mow my own grass meant one thing to me: I no longer have a man taking care of me. Huh.
The mower coughed and sputtered, and I babied it until it resumed. I wondered what was wrong with it since I’d recently had it serviced by what I then discovered was a less than reputable shop.
As I continued mowing my rows, I thought about how our modern urban lifestyle leaves little occasion for us to reconnect with precious Mother Earth. When we do, it is to kill all we find growing naturally in ‘our’ plot of Her, plant grass, water like crazy, and then keep it evenly buzzed across the top like a small boy’s hair. Why did we begin deciding God didn’t plant well and we needed to redo everything? Why are we so disconnected from our planet?
The mower died again. I babied it back to life for a couple of rows, feeling frustrated with the repairman and seeing another new vulnerability sans father or husband. Men always fix these things. Or at least, we expect them to. That’s probably not any more fair than all the other expectations we put upon them to protect, provide, and do all those ‘man’ things for us. Who fixes their problems? Where do they go for protection? Do they feel safe? Appreciated?
One final cough and the mower died for good, despite numerous magic tricks and prayer attempts at resurrection. As I rolled it back into the garage until I could take it to a better repair shop, I gave thanks for my lawn, Mother Earth, and all the men who have fumbled their way through my magnificent expectations. I believe I’ll bring a bit more humility, encouragement, and help to my next relationship…and a new mower!
Have you ever tried really hard to fit in somewhere you believed that you belonged? Years ago, I was hired into a management team of women for a job I was excited about, and I tried really hard to fit in and be accepted by these image-conscious women managing prestigious urban office suites. I bought nice suits, modified my hairstyle, and even finally quit smoking after months of trying just because they hired only nonsmokers. My husband and I almost had World War III in our home trying to quit smoking and coping with the anger that emerges when giving up that nasty habit, but we did it. What energy I put into trying to be the perfect fit for that job! Needless to say I was not too happy; despite enjoying the work and my colleagues, no one is truly happy being someone they are not.
A few months after starting to work there, we traveled together to a conference. Imagine my surprise when most of them showed their true selves and I discovered I was the only one not smoking at the happy hour that evening! If I hadn’t been so busy worrying about whether I was perfect enough, I might have picked up on that a little sooner!
Everywhere we go we encounter the image police. Women can be particularly critical of other women, too. Over the years I have seen enough to know that the situation I described is not unusual. People have a tendency of working hard at putting on the appearance of looking right, acting right, having a certain amount of money and prestige and clout. Then they behave as if they expect the same of others.
The title of this article is about others not being all that they portray, but at an authentic level, each and every one of us is ‘all that’! We all need to know exactly who we are and stand in the beauty of our uniqueness. It is amazing how things begin to change when we begin showing others who we are and “teaching them how to treat us”, as Maya Angelou so eloquently describes it. When we are comfortable with our strengths and weaknesses, proud of our Divine uniqueness, others will be too. You are too precious to waste another day overlooking this simple life-changing truth.
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Thanks to our website designer and online marketing consultant Mario Rosales of Tech Life Balance for joining me in another chat about technology and how it impacts our relationships. Being the Heart & Soul of Success means being present in this moment and fully connecting with others. On this we all have room to improve!
Last night I was blessed to spend time with my spiritual healer to go back and piece together the broken little girl somewhere in my past and bring her wholly forward into the present. In the multitude of lessons that followed, I got really clear about how we protect ourselves from pain by not talking about the truths of our lives that others have taught us were ‘ugly’. In not talking about our pain and in always trying to make everything look good, like we’ve got it all figured out, we don’t heal or grow.
In going back to find my little girl, I discovered that I had been sexually abused once while very young, long before the other incest I’ve been counseled about for years, by another family member I’d never considered. (No wonder I’ve been stuck on some deep core issues!) It happened in his favorite chair, which I have since inherited. That truth so wanted to be uncovered all of these years that I’ve unconsciously drug that chair from home to home without ever considering why. I never sit in it. I always try to decorate it in a magazine-ready photo setting and then ignore it. Now that the ugly truth about this cross I’ve carried with me is in the light, I can honestly say I HATE that chair! I cannot WAIT to take it to the resale shop and get RID of it! (Even my beautiful cat pictured here on “the chair” doesn’t seem to feel too good about the energy there!)
There were many more lessons in that journey about my own mother, generations of pain, lies, and secrets, and how their broken, pain-filled truths have transferred unconsciously into my world-view. No one in my family has felt ‘good enough’ for many, many years. I am excited about the new possibilities that arise for me out of illuminating that very dark, musty hallway. Today, I know I’m good enough just because I Am.
My prayer for you is that you will discover a cross you may be carrying, however unconsciously. Pray for the strength and opening to shine a bit of light there. What awaits beyond the pain we so dread, which by the way isn’t half as strong as the pain of hiding, will be Possibilities beyond your wildest imaginations. Take the Journey of Possibilities my friend, and find your new beginnings!
FAQ: how do we freely share Love & Light without being physically and/or emotionally beaten up? We MUST remember and remind one another that only One is capable of unconditional Love without jealousy, disappointment, anger, resentment, etc. Stand firm in that space and expect nothing in this world beyond seeing the Divinity in everyone…even when they can’t see it in themselves. Channel God’s Love to all while standing in Original Light, not man’s. Seek acceptance and Love where it truly is, at the Source. God will reveal when and where we may find safety in another person here, and ultimately when and if that connection is ending. IN God we trust, WITH (wo)man we Journey. Shine brightly and safely wrapped in God’s love and angel wings! Namaste. <3 Sheryl
Sometimes we meet a person and instantly feel like we’ve known them for years, spending the weeks that follow filling each other in on the seemingly insignificant facts of our lives. It’s like we want to know enough about one another to match the closeness we have achieved – that normally follows years of friendship. These amazing and rare connections are some of the deepest relationships of our lives, regardless how long they last. They may arrive to help us through a time, show us a possibility, or teach us a vital life lesson and then they’re gone. Their impact, however, is always profound. One theory that resonates for me is that we plan such connections in the spiritual realm before we ever come into this life as spirits having a human experience. This blog is to honor those I’ve had in my lifetime, and their Light that remains in my heart.
There was my neighbor who I met as she moved all of her belongings from an apartment downstairs to an apartment by me – one shopping cart at a time! By her 5th trip past my open door, I had to ask, and a beautiful relationship ensued. Lisa brightened a dark time in my life in a unique, loving, and creative way, always bringing laughter to my then disillusioned and confused self.
There was a coworker I enjoyed for a few brief weeks who had such a bright spirit, creative Light, and magical energy about her. When we got together, hours passed like seconds in laughter and creative exploration of what might be Divinely possible for us in this lifetime. We compared our star charts marveling at our cosmic connection and then somehow stayed stuck in our own confusion. We saw our own Possibilities in each others company and reflection, but chose then not to act…yet.
Several more have come and gone leaving brilliant marks on my life and permanent spaces of love in my heart. Recently, another has arrived bringing me incredible insight. This time when I recognized some of my own Possibility, I did not run, and as she sees hers, she is not running either. She has quickly become my closest spiritual heart guide and we have profound sessions together loving each other through the deepest unexplored parts of ourselves so that we can, in turn, love others into new heights of living as well. Attracting new teachers and exploring new paths, our Light grows brighter and our passion to share it expands. We marvel at how the roles of student and teacher alternate back and forth between us, absent ego or judgment.
These instant deep connections that appear in our lives have big impact and potential, if we allow it. They are Divinely guided and blessed to touch us in beautiful and transformational ways. I wonder. Will you and I share such a connection along this earthly segment of our Journey of Possibilities?
